Karl Klockars

The last couple weeks have made me realize how many people hate cops. And when I say “hate cops” I don’t say it in a “I hope google charts these as a way to draw traffic to this idiot site,” I mean like people really hate cops. Capital “H.”

Maybe more importantly, the past couple weeks have made the cops realize how much people hate cops. I imagine Officer Friendly going about his day, handing out a few tickets here, busting some drunks there, generally protecting and serving like you do. And Officer Friendly probably thinks to himself, “You know, people probably get mad when I bust them for speeding or blowing that stop sign. But I’m sure they understand that us fine people on that Thin Blue Line have a responsibility and a job to do.”

Would it shock them to think that nowadays, most people think of the blue uniform as just another gang, another shakedown bunch of thugs, someone not to be trusted, to be avoided at all costs. We’ve been hearing a lot of “there are a lot of good cops out there that are being painted with a very broad brush” since this whole Abbate thing broke…but I wonder how wide that hunk o’ horsehair really is.

On the websites and comment – friendly blogs people have been posting up their “I got the shit kicked out of me by the CPD” stories. Or, the more frightening “I dated a Chicago cop and got out of the relationship with all my teeth intact” stories. Such as (lifted from Chicagoist):

“I briefly dated a cop a few years ago. He was nice, but something seemed really off on the first date. On our second date I met a bunch of his cop friends, and they all turned out to be racist, homophobic, sexist, violent, drunk driving menaces. And all of these men were sergeant and above.”

I bet she didn’t even get her tickets fixed by then. Poor thing.

I don’t have any terrible cop stories. I’ve never been threatened, never had a gun to my head, never been dangled out a 8th story window by my ankles – hell, I don’t even think I’ve gotten a ticket in the city for anything other than parking ($250 for parking by a hydrant? You bastards!) but I try to keep my head down and avoid conflict.

If in the event that I ended up in a situation like that, you’d best believe I’d be hoping and praying for a security camera from now on. The fact that they had a full video, full audio camera still amazes me – it’s not a still photo every two seconds, it’s not just crappy grainy blurry footage – there it is, in full brutality.

And now I can’t listen to Johnny Cash’s “Sunday Morning Coming Down” without thinking about someone beating the bejesus out of a poor bartender. Damn.

Did everyone always feel this way about police? When it comes down to it, they’re our discipliners, they’re our ruler across the knuckles when we get caught screwing up – we’re not really supposed to like them. We’re supposed to hate every encounter with them because it usually means we’re in trouble. We’re losing money, time, and possibly freedom every time we interact with cops.

The other side of the coin is that when we’re not at fault of anything and we’re dealing with them, something incredibly shitty has probably happened to us. We could be dealing with Officer I’m The Nicest Guy In The Universe, and we probably wouldn’t care – we just want our stuff back, most likely. And when Officer Doesn’t Really Care gets back into his black & white after a standard “we’ll let you know if we hear anything” dropping at your feet…just about every police encounter ends up with you feeling screwed.

People keep screaming “you don’t understand, it’s a terrible job, it’s a huge respon- sibility, these people deal with the scum of the earth, so on and so on! Respect them, feel terrible for the harsh life they lead!” I don’t particularly care how hard a job is – it doesn’t give you the right to be a violent meathead piece of shit. I’ve had terrible jobs too. I never got drunk and beat the piss out of anyone.

Now that this particular videotaped cat is out of the bag, and possibly another one to come, I wonder if there’s going to be a rise in video camera purchases. If we know that we have to protect ourselves from both sides of the law, what protection do we have if we don’t have any proof? The “he said she said” argument in court is like a push in blackjack – it always goes to the dealer.

Investigative news teams take note: here’s an award winning expose. Drive around in a car without a working taillight, or a missing license plate or something. Then when you get pulled over on a Saturday night, take out your home video camera and have the person riding shotgun tape the whole thing. Threats? Orders to turn it off? Maybe they’ll break it. That’d be good footage. Get the lawyers to okay it – there’s a lot of money in a lawsuit if they beat the holy hell out of your afternoon news anchor.

See what happens. The old axehandle is that “there’s never a cop around when you need one.” Now it seems like they’re around, especially when you don’t want them.