30
10/08
In Which I Write A Speech For Mayor Daley.
We were driving back from the airport last night, picking up a friend from out of town, when he asks – “So do you think people are going to go apeshit if Obama loses?” And I says to myself, I says – I think we all agree that Chicago’s going to go apeshit whether he wins or loses. Sometimes, we can all be the bad bunch of immature children that deserve every horrible thing that Residents Of Either Coast choose to sling at us.
We’ve already proven that we can’t handle victory very well, especially when it’s on our home turf. And since a few Bulls victories last decade got us into the mood for raucousness, and we obviously have to prove our mettle compared to car-overturning Phillies fans after last night’s World Series Win, we’re rather primed for a collective Freak-Out on a global scale. (more…)