Karl Klockars

It was a fun-filled three days of Chicago Sports Entertainment.  Probably the most tense, thrilling few days in recent (or long-term) memory.  One team exits the post season.  One team lives to fight another day.  And a third team, different sport, walks all over a team from a city 600 miles away – and yet, it almost sounded like a home game.

It’s rarer still that I actually took the time out of a lazy Sunday to sit down and actually watch almost six full hours of sporting coverage.  (So you know something big must have been happening.)  Usually, Sunday sports in fall is just a vehicle for drinking at noon and eating bad foods in the company of screaming men.  But this week, it was different.  It was an afternoon of true entertainment in the company of me, myself and I on a grey, rainy fall afternooon.  It was a Manfternoon.  The following is the results of the rumination of a few days of sports.  And High Life.  But mostly sports.

1)  The Cubs.

It’s been established and well documented that I am not a Cubs fan.  However, I am not a Sox fan that will jump up and down and huzzah over the fact that the Cubs got bounced from the playoffs in three short games.  I won’t even say the “C” word.  However, you’ll see it on T-shirts all over the South Side next year, no doubt.  (Worn by the same people who only recently retired their “Got Cork” shirts, I’m sure.)

What about Vomit Cubbie "Draft Beer Yellow?"

But I was reading a short essay this morning from Bleed Cubbie Blue about the following treatise:  The players on the Cubs should quit caring.  Just relax and not make such a big deal about everything.  The guys were too uptight, too wrapped up in the whole “holy crap break the curse thing.” I respectfully ask:  What the hell?

The intention is good, but it’s poorly placed.  The only reason (I believe) that the Cubs went the extra mile is because they wanted to be the Century Team of Destiny.  100 Years and That’s It.  So, next year, should they care less?  No, of course not.  The fans should.

For more than a few decades now, the team has been cradled by (and saddled with) an audience that only half cares what they do – and they show up anyways.  So remove that half of care, and reduce it to nearly nothing.  Let the team see a Wrigley Field that’s not chock-full of know-nothings.  Ditch the Fair Weathers.  (And if I see the marketing department’s IP address searching this page, I’m starting the law suit paperwork early.)

A team that’s not stuck with half-fans that boo every single game might get a bullpen that’s not competely demoralized.  A team that sees a vacant upper deck might try a little harder, like this year – but be able to play a little more loosely, like they need to.  It’s not the team caring – but now that we’ve past the century mark, why don’t you all stay home next year?

2) The White Sox.

Okay, South Side – now that the Cubs are out of contention, you really don’t need to do anything else.  I hope you know that.  So maybe (continuing with the theme of “relaxed players”) you guys can chill out and not sweat the next two games.  Some of you have World Series rings on your fingers.  The rest of you probably would like some – but this year isn’t your year.

If you guys weren't baseball players, you'd so get beat up for this.

The ’05 Season was your dominant time to shine.  You only lost one game in the post season.  You’ve already lost 2 this year.  In ’05, you were in first place the whole damn time – and this year you slipped to second place just a couple weeks ago or so.  You both kinda have gimmicks this year, though – ’05 was the Don’t Stop Believin’ Sox, and this year is kinda the Must Win Sox.  As in, you get so close to losing that you Must Win to keep playing.  (Oh, and those goofy towels, too.  And the ridiculous facial hair.  Whose idea was that?)

But it doesn’t matter that much if you win or lose.  Because let’s be honest: most of your fans this year just wanted you to go further than the Cubs in the playoffs.  No one really paid much attention to you this year; not with the Century Team of Destiny a few miles north.  And now you’ve proven your point.  Even with no one giving that much of a shit, you won a playoff game.  Which is better than those other guys did.  Good enough for most of us.

It’ll be great if you get into the second round.  Really prove the point.  But then you can come home.  And we’ll all Wait Til’ Next Year.

3:  The Bears.

Did Megabus run a special up to Detroit and not tell me?  Was all the cheering I heard in the stands at every Chicago touchdown as loud as it really could have been?  Or was it just the dome?  Because it sure seemed like there were a hell of a lot of Bears fans in Detroit on Sunday.

"What are we doing here?!" "I don't know! What are coneys?!" (Thanks, Trib.)

I understand when Detroit teams get cheered here.  Every Sox/Tigers game I go to is as loud on either side as it ever gets.  I’d even understand if a Lions team got cheered here (except for the complete lack of Lions fans anywhere).  And I’m sure, if I had ever watched a hockey game in this town, that the Red Wings do really well here.  Why?  Because when you graduate from U of M, MSU, CMU, so on – you get out and you move to Chicago.  If I was flush with cash and an enterprising businessman, I’d create a restaurant called the Michigander, serve coney dogs and Vernors Ginger Ale soda and make a fortune.

But the reverse?  Chicago residents or Bears fans in Detroit?  I can’t imagine the travel brochure that would advertise that road trip.  “See! A Bears game for less than $300!  Enjoy!  A trip to Lafayette Coney Dog, a style of hot dog that Chicago residents don’t know exists!  Visit!  The bare bones of Tiger Stadium, which will remind Sox fans of what Comiskey used to kinda be like!  After that!  You’re on your own!”

I just don’t see it happening.  I’ll puzzle over this for some time to come.